I genuinely feel like if everyone has a purpose in this world, I was put on this earth to be a Mom. Growing up, I always knew I wanted to be a Mom. When I was really little, I even told my Mom I wanted to be a Police officer and have 14 kids. Clearly the career path and number of children has changed (don’t worry, we’re not going to be the Murchison version of 19 Kids and Counting). But I just always knew I wanted to be a Mother.
When it came to actually becoming a mother though, it didn’t come super easily for me. I had a lot of friends who got pregnant the first month they were trying so when that wasn’t the case for me, it was incredibly disheartening. Of course, I immediately jumped to conclusions and assumed something was wrong or that I was barren because we didn’t get pregnant the first month. (Fun fact: you only have a 30% chance of getting pregnant each month) Naturally, I was totally overreacting and there was absolutely nothing wrong with either me or Tyler. It just took time. We were finally able to conceive after 6 months of trying and it might have been the most shocked I have ever been in my entire life. But at the same time, I was beyond excited for the incredible blessing I was being given to carry this sweet baby.
The fact that it was a little more tricky for us to get pregnant though made me appreciate the ability to carry a child that much more. I felt (and still feel) that I was incredibly blessed to be able to carry a healthy baby when I know there are so many women who would give anything to be in my place.
But actually becoming a Mom is so much more amazing than I every could have imagined. I knew I was going to love Liam but the moment he was put into my arms my entire world changed. The amount of love you have for a child of your own is like nothing I have ever experienced in my entire life. I love him so much it hurts. I literally sat in Liam’s room the other night after watching the movie Gifted (highly recommend it if you’re in for a good cry) and rocked him and ugly cried (think Farrah from Teen Mom OG crying) just because I loved him so much and felt so incredibly blessed to be his Mom.
Being a Mom to me means being more exhausted than I’ve ever been in my entire life. Being a Mom to me mean giving up my body (in more ways than one) to create and sustain a life. Being a Mom to me means going to work when all I would rather do is stay home with that sweet little boy no matter how cranky he may be. Being a Mom is the most incredible gift anyone has ever given me.
Motherhood is also the most challenging thing I have ever done but the most rewarding thing I’ve ever done all at the same time. I question what I’m doing at least once a day. But at the end of the day, I look at his sweet, smiling face and realize if my son is this happy, clearly we’re doing something right.
As we start to think about expanding our family, I wonder how my heart can have room for the same amount of love that I have for Liam for our next child. But I know if we are lucky enough to be blessed with another baby, my heart will double that love and I will continue to be amazed by this amazing journey.